Wellness is often celebrated when it is visible.

We applaud the person who completes a marathon.

We admire the dramatic transformation.

We notice the glowing vacation photos, the new fitness routine, or the perfectly curated morning routine shared online.

But...

No one claps when you go to bed early.

No one celebrates when you schedule your annual checkup.

No one sees the moment you choose to rest instead of pushing yourself past exhaustion.

Yet these small, consistent choices are often the foundation of a healthier life.

The Quiet Work of Taking Care of Yourself

Some of the most important wellness habits are not exciting. They are repetitive, ordinary, and easy to overlook.

Wellness can look like:

• Drinking water throughout the day.

• Taking your medications consistently.

• Going to therapy or prioritizing your mental health.

• Setting boundaries with people who drain your energy.

• Preparing meals instead of relying on convenience every day.

• Resting before your body forces you to stop.

• Saving money for your future needs.

• Keeping up with preventive healthcare appointments.

• Cleaning and organizing your environment to support your peace.

These choices may not receive recognition from others, but your future self benefits from every one of them.

Prevention Is a Form of Self-Love

Many people are taught to respond to problems only after they become serious. We wait until we are overwhelmed before asking for help. We wait until symptoms interfere with our lives before seeking medical attention. We wait until burnout forces us to slow down.

But wellness asks us to consider a different approach:

Preventive care is one of the most powerful forms of wellness because it acknowledges that your health deserves attention before there is a crisis.

Taking care of yourself early is not an overreaction.

It is wisdom.

The Habits That Nobody Sees Still Matter

Some of the most meaningful wellness decisions happen privately:

• Nobody knows when you choose to put your phone down and get enough sleep.

• Nobody sees you taking a walk because you know movement helps your mental health.

• Nobody hears the difficult conversation where you advocate for your needs.

• Nobody witnesses the discipline it takes to create healthier patterns.

But those moments matter.

Wellness Is Not About Performing Health

In a world where everything can become content, it can be easy to confuse wellness with appearance.

A person can have the perfect workout clothes and still be exhausted.

A person can post about self-care and still struggle with setting boundaries.

A person can look healthy and still need support.

True wellness is not a performance.

It is a relationship with yourself.

It is understanding what your mind, body, and spirit need—and responding with care.

Celebrate the Invisible Progress

Not all progress is obvious.

Sometimes progress looks like:

• Getting enough sleep after years of neglecting your rest.

• Asking for help instead of handling everything alone.

• Choosing consistency over intensity.

• Learning to listen to your body.

• Creating routines that support the person you are becoming.

These accomplishments may not receive likes, comments, or applause.

But they are still accomplishments.

This National Wellness Month...

Take a moment to recognize the habits you practice that nobody else sees.

The glass of water, the appointment you scheduled, the boundary you created, the rest you allowed yourself to have, the healthier choice you made when nobody was watching.

Remember, those moments matter.

Because wellness is not built only through the things we celebrate publicly.

It is built through the quiet decisions we make privately, over and over again.

When people hear the words self-care, they often imagine spa days, massages, vacations, scented candles, or bubble baths.

While there’s nothing wrong with enjoying those things, they’ve become the face of wellness in a way that’s misleading:

• Self-care can be relaxing.

• Self-maintenance is essential.

The difference matters.

A manicure may make you feel refreshed for a week. Drinking enough water, getting adequate sleep, attending preventive health appointments, and managing your stress can influence your health for years.

Wellness isn’t built on occasional indulgences.

It’s built on consistent habits.

The Wellness We Don’t Always See

Social media often presents wellness as an aesthetic: a perfectly organized morning routine, expensive supplements, matching workout sets, or luxury retreats.

Real wellness usually looks much quieter.

It looks like:

• Going to bed on time even when another episode is calling your name.

• Drinking water before your morning coffee.

• Preparing meals that nourish your body.

• Moving your body in ways that feel sustainable.

• Keeping your medical, dental, and mental health appointments.

• Taking prescribed medications as directed.

• Spending time outdoors.

• Saying “no” when your schedule is already full.

These choices rarely go viral.

But they’re often the habits that make the biggest difference over time.

Maintenance Is an Act of Self-Respect

Think about the things we value:

• We maintain our cars with oil changes.

• We update our phones.

• We service our heating and cooling systems.

• We schedule routine maintenance because we understand that prevention is often less costly than repair.

Yet many of us wait until we’re exhausted, overwhelmed, or burned out before we give ourselves the same attention.

Our bodies and minds deserve routine care, not just emergency intervention.

Wellness Doesn’t Have to Be Perfect

One missed workout doesn’t erase your progress.

Neither does one unhealthy meal.

Wellness isn’t an all-or-nothing lifestyle. It’s a collection of small decisions repeated over time.

Progress is more sustainable than perfection. Instead of asking yourself, “Did I have the perfect wellness day?”, try asking, “What did I do today to care for myself?”

Even one healthy choice counts.

Small Habits, Lasting Impact

You don’t have to overhaul your life overnight.

This week, consider choosing one habit you can realistically maintain:

• Maybe it’s drinking one more glass of water each day.

• Maybe it’s taking a 20-minute walk after work.

• Maybe it’s putting your phone away 30 minutes before bed.

• Maybe it’s scheduling the appointment you’ve been postponing.

Small habits have a way of becoming lifelong routines.

This National Wellness Month...

Remember that wellness isn’t reserved for special occasions.

It’s found in the ordinary moments and choosing rest when you’re tired, movement when you’ve been sitting all day, connection when you’ve been isolating, and grace when you fall short of your goals.

Because the healthiest life isn’t built by what you do once in a while.

It’s built by what you choose to do consistently.

Some of us became experts at survival long before we ever learned what healing looked like.

Survival is instinctive; it’s what we do when life feels unsafe, uncertain, or overwhelming. It helps us adapt to difficult environments, navigate disappointment, and endure painful experiences.

Many p…

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Every August, National Wellness Month serves as a reminder to prioritize our physical, emotional, and mental well-being. Founded by Live Love Spa in 2018, the initiative encourages people to adopt healthy habits that support long-term wellness, not just during the month, but throughout the year.

When many people think about wellness, they p…

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The internet doesn’t have an influencer problem.

It has a trust problem.

For more than a decade, influencers have shaped how we shop, what we buy, and what we believe is “worth it.” Scroll through any social platform and you’ll see the same formula: perfect lighting, a glowing review, and a carefully placed discount code.

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So I was scrolling through Tubi last week and I happened to come across this movie called Promiscuously Toxic. I figured it would be entertaining like other modern urban dramas on the platform, but I was not expecting what I got.

(I forgot all of the characters’ names except the main character, Marcus and his “karma” Angel/Shay, but I’ll try to explain e…

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It’s tax season, and as I’m filing mine, I’m looking through my records from the past decade or so and it’s very clear that I’ve had a lot of jobs. There's a recurring theme here, and I’m learning what truly makes me happy. As far as work goes, at least.

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Hi guys! 💕

I know it’s been a while, but I wanted to tell you that I made it to the Quarter Finals for Playboy’s latest talent search! If I win, I could be featured on the Inside Cover of their magazine or even become Playmate of the Year!

This may seem random to my newcomers, and not-so-random for those who have followed me for a while. But this journey is deeply personal in more ways than one, and I’m inviting you into my world to share.

Playboy: A Brand, A Movement, A Lifestyle

Playboy has a long history of celebrating the vast and varying beauty of women. Not just in how we look, but in how we express ourselves. From its earliest issues, it wasn’t just a magazine; it was a cultural space where women could be bold, artistic, and unapologetic about their sexuality. That spirit still exists today with their latest project, The Playboy Club, a digital platform that’s quickly curating a community where modern-day ideals of sexual identity thrive. As a Playboy Creator, I appreciate how the platform lets us tell our stories in our own way. Every contributor has a unique angle, and the platform celebrates it.

Playboy began in 1953, during a time when America was buttoned-up, conservative, and terrified of women’s freedom. The idea that a woman could pose nude because she wanted to, and not because she was forced to, was shocking. That was Playboy’s rebellion. It wasn’t just about naked bodies; it was about choice.

Over time, Playboy pushed boundaries in ways that are often overlooked. It featured interviews with civil rights leaders like Malcolm X and Martin Luther King Jr., published groundbreaking journalistic pieces, and gave space to artists, writers, and thinkers who challenged social norms. It also gave contemporary women a platform to embrace their sexuality without apology, long before words like “sex-positive” were a thing.

From its rebellious beginnings in print to the digital freedom of The Playboy Club today, the core mission remains the same: celebrating women’s autonomy, creativity, and self-expression. Playboy has grown from a magazine to a permanent fixture in pop culture because of its daring approach to highlighting what most try to leave in the dark. You can’t talk about cultural evolution , or revolution, without mentioning Playboy.

Black Women, Beauty, and Visibility in Playboy

Since slavery, Black women in the United States have been burdened by dehumanizing stereotypes designed to control and justify racial and sexual oppression. One of the most enduring is the “Jezebel” caricature which portrayed Black women as innately lascivious, promiscuous, and sexually available.

This stereotype served several strategic purposes during slavery and beyond:

1. To justify sexual violence: Enslavers claimed that Black women “couldn’t be raped” because they were “always willing” or “provocative.”

2. To deny trauma: By framing sexual violence as consensual or “deserved,” it erased the reality of assault and stripped Black women of the right to be seen as victims.

3. To enforce social control: After emancipation, this narrative persisted to punish Black women who expressed sexuality outside narrow norms of respectability.

Prominent scholars such as Patricia Hill Collins, bell hooks, and Melissa Harris-Perry have written extensively about this. Collins, in Black Feminist Thought, explains that the Jezebel image denied Black women the right to sexual self-definition (1990).

Many Black women have experienced what psychologists call racialized sexual trauma: a trauma shaped, not only by personal violation, but also by historical narratives that distort and shame Black womanhood.

As a result, generations of Black women were socially conditioned to perform modesty to avoid being labeled, judged, or made targets even when that meant suppressing natural sensuality or self-expression.

Part of reclaiming sexual expression and autonomy for Black women is putting our beauty on full display, celebrating it where history tried to erase, silence, or confine it. Playboy has always supported this effort. Features from Jennifer Jackson, Jean Bell, and Darine Stern broke barriers for Black women in the reclamation of our personal identities.

Positionality: How This All Relates to Me

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Original Work by DeDe Hunt

Sara Baartman Biopic

YouTube Dialogue

This piece was re-generated for commentary and further illustration of Saartjie's story. This work also provides stronger visuals for the author, DeDe Hunt's, allegory of Black womanhood; however, this is not intended to be the author's exact perspective.

Saartjie is one of the first victims of sex and human trafficking by European pillagers. Author DeDe Hunt has done a beautiful job at orating her story and encouraging Black women to reject objectification, especially from Black men who have capitalized off of our degradation in the name of hip-hop culture. This narrative was posted almost two decades ago, yet as we revisit this piece, societal values may or may not have changed.

Do you believe Black women are truly victimized by hyper-sexualization, or is there a reclamation element to embracing our sexual identities in an effort to reinforce our right to body autonomy? Or could it be both? How should we define ourselves? How can we adopt healthy sexual behaviors and imaging without abandoning our dignity and self-respect? Is it possible?

Drop your ideas and feedback below.

In a lot of ways, I had to be.

But the theme for this year is self-love.

There’s a stark difference between hyper-independency and truly appreciating the person you see in the mirror. Inner and outer beauty. At your best, and at your worst. Flaws and all.

Accepting that who you are, as is, is enough. Learning how to be your own happily ever after. Because friends or no friends, SP or no SP, you are loved.

Give yourself anything and everything. Because you deserve it. Because you’re worthy. Because you’re allowed to be kind to yourself. Because you’re supposed to have nice things. You have to remind yourself that you deserve nice things.

Wine and dine yourself—and make it good, too. Eat only the good stuff. The stuff that makes you dance in your seat. The stuff that makes you hum when you chew. The stuff that makes you feel like you can finally exhale.

They don’t know, nor do they have to understand, the depths of your self-love. But they should know that you will absolutely go to war for you. You will raise hell and bring heaven down behind you. You really don’t play about you! That’s it, that’s all.

To know you is to love you, and who would know that better than you? How fortunate it must be to experience this sort of love affair.

And I would know…

Because for me?

“I’ve been waiting so long for a love like this…”

I just published my first note on Substack Notes, and would love for you to join me there!

Notes is a new space on Substack for us to share links, short posts, quotes, photos, and more. I plan to use it for things that don’t fit in the newsletter, like work-in-progress or quick questions.

Go to Notes

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I wasn’t gonna say anything, but I’m glad TikTok got banned.

And not for the reasons y’all think.

It was banned by Congress because of national security reasons — and rightfully so — but admittedly, I don’t give a fuck about that.

The reason why I’m glad TikTok is banne…

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Aside from being my birthstone, diamonds hold special meaning for me.

They say it takes pressure to make one, so no other stone is appropriate for me. White Diamonds being my first favorite fragrance is so fitting; I was gifted the perfume when I was in first grade and it will always be one of my signatures. It’s such a classic! (Thank you,

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To view this post without commentary, click here.

With all this Diddy drama going on, I’ve been wondering:

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So I’m sitting here listening to Christmas carols, and I’m having the smoothest holiday I’ve had in a minute. These songs have me reminiscing on what Christmas Eve was like when I was child.

Everything is so different now.

For one, I’m an adult.

But also…

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So a while ago, I wrote a blog on Medium about stress spending.

I still think it’s a great coping mechanism; however, since writing that post, I realized something.

I really haven’t shopped much these past few years.

The irony is that I just survived the most stressful time period in my young adult life, so I should’ve spend a significant amount of money. All things considered, I should have a lot of new stuff.

Recently, I went to Victoria’s Secret, and that’s when it hit me:

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If there’s anything I learned about research, it’s that the things you’re most passionate about have a way of being thrown back on your face.

It’s like, your lived experience is either a stark contrast from what’s in the literature, triggers an epiphanic episode, or “cannot be proven” because it was never researched. So what does that mean for someone like me?

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I don’t know how spiritual you may be, but today is a whole portal. It’s the 11th day of the 11th month, so you know what that means… Right?

Angel number 1111 signifies spiritual support, as in you are supported in your aspirations and endeavors. The Universe is conspiring in your favor. Everything is destined to go your way. ✨

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Today I’m announcing a brand new addition to my Substack publication: Raena Updates subscriber chat.

This is a conversation space exclusively for subscribers—kind of like a group chat or live hangout. I’ll post questions and updates that come my way, and you can jump into the discussion.

Join chat

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HeauxTales is an ongoing series that highlights some of the most outrageous circumstances surrounding sex workers, hypergamy, and transactional relationships. Jared can’t believe the woman of his dreams set him up like this. An urban dancer chronicles her latest shift. You can’t turn a trick into a husband… Or can you?

And so much more to come.

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